this is a rant.
i have mixed feelings about this semester.
on the one hand, i feel like my classes are pretty bomb,
pretty doable, but pretty challenging,
pretty much like what i expected college to be.
some days i feel like the worst student ever,
procrastinating and alreadyy staying up late to finish homework.
but some days, two hours of lecture seems like nothing.
this is why i'm so indecisive and hesitant to join the field hockey team.
even though their level of play is pretty much comparable to
our more intense varsity games last year,
i feel like it's going to be a repeat of senior year.
eating up my time for school, my friends, M, and occasional siestas.
but like last year's team, they are sooo inviting and close and sisterly.
i dunno. i'm sure that if i tell my parents that i'm joining the team,
they would freak out and advise me to focus on my studies first.
and for once, i do agree with them.
on the other hand, i can't help but just wanttt to be in the team.
i want to be in the team. i want to playy. ugh.
i'll figure it out.